Since I'm Talking About Toes....

After the post about camel toes... I starting thinkin' about toes in general. People have a LOT of audacity to wear open toe and heal shoe wear and not have their feet in open toe/heal wear shape. How in the hell do you find it okay to go outside with crusty feet?

I mention all of this because I was at a restaurant and this older guy came in and his feet were atrocious! Good thing I have a high level of control of my gag reflex. Those toes were yellowed, overgrown toenails and looked as if he had been preparing an apple pie crust with his feet.

What makes me wonder is at what point did they ever look at their feet and think, "Shit, I better get a handle on these feet before they start looking bad." There has to be a point in time. It just HAS TO BE! If that time passed you by, it would probably serve you well to see a doctor. Those issues will only compound themselves.

What would be great is if you keep those gnarly fuckin' feet in some socks.

I've struggled with the notion of subjecting my readers to the atrocity of such types of feet - but I feel that if I had to see them, you all needed to see some of these offenders!


OooOOOh and look at this - Good Morning America is doing a segment on foot problems! It's a sign!!

Here are some helpful links if you find that your feet are on the verge of a breakdown - or a way to wake up and head out for a pedicure!

UgleeFeet.com
10 Ugly Feet (and What You Can Do About Them)
David Drake: Hoo-Ray, It's Ugly Feet Season!

Camels and Moose?

Yesterday a conversation came up about camel toe - the infamous shape created in the crotch of a female who wears pants that are too tight!

The conversation went a little like this.

Me: "You know, I have something I want to share with y'all. __________ has some fuckin' SERIOUS camel toe!"

(Group of friends erupt in laughter)

Friend: "Oh my God! I was just talking to ____________ about that! She noticed it too!"

My question is, "Do girls even know if they're rockin' the camel toe? If they don't realize it - how can they NOT feel that pressure down there?" Do they realize it and just say, "Fuck it - I'm fat down there and I won't buy any new pants that truly fit because I just don't care that much"? That makes me wonder.

The male version of this is the notorious moose knuckle. Men can definitely feel when the moose knuckle is in effect. Sometimes men do it on purpose - to show off what they're workin' with... but most times it's just BAD! I had moose knuckle a couple times - I TOTALLY noticed that I had it and resolved the problem quickly. See, with men, we get moose knuckle and immediately feel it. The twig and berries (or frank and beans if you will), get smooshed up and around the seam of the pants and you can't HELP but feel that.

Camels and Moose. Things that make you go hmmm...